Movie Review of Noah, Staring Russell Crowe

Since this is a review of the DVD viewing, I assume most have already either read the reviews or seen the movie. My first comment of the movie was it was too long. Second they took an amazing story and ruined it. Since the movie had many atheists working on the story, it’s understandable why they would mess it up so badly. Since there is no way they could imagine the flood story being true, they needed to add their own story to make it work.Here are some technical issues I found with the movie (and yes it’s footnoted;)

The “watchers” that were fallen angels who were encrusted in the earth to become rock people helped Noah move the large timbers. I cannot recall any Biblical story that remotely resembles this at all. I also wonder how much of this has occult influences since the fallen angels were those who fell with Satan and are trying to become worshiped like God.

Having these rock people are there for two possible purposes. One is to show that the story is fantasy and was never real since it would be difficult for a family to build this on their own. Second it is more “occultish” trying to get us comfortable with thinking fallen angels can be worshiped. I often wonder if the guise of “atheist” is more a underlying worship of Satan, since Satan knows once God is gone the world becomes his.

The time line, although shown to be long, is not accurate according to the Bible. The Bible starts with Noah at 500 with 3 sons and when the rains start he’s 600 years[1]. This is a long time to build an ark and with the help of the Nephilim[2], a human kind that is much larger, this becomes very possible by men with what they had at the time. It is believed the Nephilim was what David’s “giant” was later in the Bible. Now this may tie back to the rock people in a roundabout way but again, there are no rock people in the Bible mentioned.

One last note on the Nephilim is they were the reason God was angry since man had cross bread with them to make a human/giant hybrid. That was the root problem ins Genesis 6 and the reason God was washing the earth.

During this movie Shem was the only brother that had a wife who was barren, Ham and Japheth were too young. The movie has Ham get a wife who dies when the floods start since Moses would not save her. It was definitely off track since the boys were at the very least 100 years old and had wives in the Bible before entering the Ark[3]. Unlike the movie who had Noah’s grandfather make Shem’s wife fertile and had two girls who became their brother’s wives. Just so it’s clear nothing like this is in the Biblical story of Noah.

In the movie, Noah was wondering a desolate and barren land with only one seed to create the vegetation to build the ark. Again this was a miracle, which I believe God is capable of, that makes the whole story difficult to believe. Again the time frame was 100 years from God saying build to the first drops. This is plenty of time to have a few forest stands grow to use naturally. The exaggeration discredits the Bible rendition very quickly since it becomes harder to believe with a magically appearing forest.

I was impressed that they depicted the springs flowing from the earth in addition to the rains[4]. It’s hard to understand a rain storm that is producing that much water would not harm anyone in the storm by the crushing volume coming down.

Now the Bible claims the waters flooded the earth for 150 days[5] and if you include the 40 days of rain, it’s 190 days or a little over 6 months, yet Shem’s wife bore two daughters on the boat, so their time line, even though Shem’s wife never was mentioned of having a child on the boat, is impossible. I will say the time line is difficult to figure out since it does say 10 months before the mountain tops were visible[6]

The magical smoke that kept the animals sleeping in the movie did not affect the humans was odd. I also could not find in the story how they fed and cared for that many animals. It must have been a monumental task to keep the area clean and keep them fed. The Bible says nowhere about how they cared for the animals. One note is they talk about “kind” and the Phylogenetic tree technically was formed. So one has to ask did the pairs on the ark go through evolution to create the diverse animal species we have today or did they have sub-species pairs of different kinds? (one note there were 7 pairs of clean animals and only 1 of unclean animals[7]

Back to the movie, in this one of Cain’s descendants, their leader, stowed away on the boat and was killed by Ham. This again is nowhere to be found in the Biblical description. I wonder if this was done to discredit the human race or to discredit the Bible’s rendition of being the last honorable man?

Now the Bible does claim that Methuselah lived 5 years longer than his son, Lamech, who was Noah’s father. So he could have been picking berries when the flood hit, but nothing is mentioned in the Bible, nor is Methuselah’s magical touch to Shem’s wife to produce twin girls from her barren womb.

Noah was considered the last of the righteous and worthy of saving[8] no mention of his sons being evil or him being a maniacal madman ready to kill his twin granddaughters. Now where is this story talked about and is used to discredit Noah and his family. Ham’s sub story about being bitter towards his father for leaving his found love in a trap and plotting to kill his father was never mentioned in the Bible and was again used by the producers to discredit Noah’s worthiness of being saved.

I am sure we can go on and on talking about how off base the story was when compared to the Biblical account, but the key here is to ask why was the movie done this way? Was it to discredit the Biblical account or was it just trying to make the story better? I also tend to look at more sinister motives as to subtle brain washing to discredit Christian and Jewish beliefs? I don’t know why it was done this way, but I will say that the $1.27 I paid for it at Redbox was too much for this movie. The CGI was even very poorly done!! So it wasn’t even a good technical product either. Watch out of morbid curiosity like I did, otherwise don’t waste your time!