Tag: godisnotdead

Where Is God In My Life? (Suffering Part 5)

Often we think we are the only ones suffering then read
Psalm 22 which David opens:

My God, my God, why have you
forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me,
    so far from my cries of anguish?

 

These words should sound familiar as Jesus spoke them on the
cross in Matthew 27:46. Why would David and Jesus, both men of God, speak these
words? One had God’s hand on his life from a very early age while the other was
God, yet both though God had forsaken them.

It is unclear when Psalm 22 was written, if when he was
running from Saul or his son Absalom, but we can see many of the prophecies of
Jesus in this. This Psalm is called the “Messianic Psalm” since verse 1 was
spoken on the cross and verse 18 talks about dividing of his clothes, be it
David or Jesus we have a parallel. This is one of those section that one can
see in the Bible that shows us that Jesus was the Messiah from David’s line.  

But when looking at suffering and how we feel understand
that feeling abandoned is a “normal” part of the process. We also need to
understand that no matter how “forsaken” we may feel God is always with us.
David recognizes this throughout this Psalm yet is still struggling with his
problems.

If you are in the middle of a struggle or living in chronic
pain, you need to continue to have faith that God is with you. And be it hiding
in a cave while your pursuer craps on you or hanging on a cross, know that God
understands your fear having lived it Himself!! Think about Jesus saying “why
have you forsaken me?” Think about Jesus being God in flesh, then ask why would
He say that. This is where God understands since He was feeling “forsaken” on
the cross having no control over the pain and suffering the human body felt.

When you feel alone, know that you are not alone but
just not plugged in to God. Notice how some “seasons” we feel everything is
right and the connection with God is strong. It makes those “seasons” when God
seems away even more difficult. But as we have seen in almost every great
figure in the Bible, they required years of “suffering” to train them for God’s
task at hand. God is always here and always working in our lives, often we can’t
see it or understand it.

Then I died

Through the ups and downs things were manageable until May 17th 2014 when I died. I was out for a run and came in, said hi to Katy and Ella and then dropped. My heart stopped yet 911 was treating me as a seizure since we had a family history of that. For 5 minutes I turned blue while the 911 operator was yelling at the girls NOT to do CPR since it could kill me. It was 5 minutes before the EMT’s showed up and stated CPR.

They worked on me for 45 minutes and “paddled” me 6 or 7 times only to get a heartbeat 3 minutes from the hospital. The crew from Gwinnett Fire Stations 13 and 21 did their job and now I was in the hands of the doctors, who immediately put me in a coma and chilled my body to allow the organs to recover. Through those days everyone was being told that IF I survived, I would have brain damage. I apparently had a stream of friends and family visit, then Acts 9:40 appeared to have happened:

But Peter put them all outside, and knelt down and prayed; and turning to the body he said, “Tabitha, arise.” And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up.

On May 20th, two close friends from 12 Stone Church, Amiee and Patty, stopped by to pray over me. During this time of intense prayer, I responded and started coming out of the coma. The nurses freaked, told them to stop and started to load me up on meds to keep me in the coma. Within a couple hours it didn’t matter what they did, I was out of my coma.

Now the first thing I did was freak out since the white board had “5/20/15” written on it, so I assumed I had been in a coma for a year. I had a ventilator crammed down my throat and could not communicate at all, so my flailing around was consistent with a person with brain damage. The removed the ventilator and immediately started to pepper me with questions.

The first was “if I was standing in a puddle of water and I had rubber boots on, would my feet be wet?” I though what a stupid question and asked “how deep is the puddle?” That was when Katy sighed relief things appeared normal. I still had an uphill battle, but at least things were positive. After two weeks bouncing between ICU and the cardio wing, I walked out of Emory a new man.

A couple things came from this, first is the power Jesus has given us is real. John 14:12 has Jesus telling us we will do greater things:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.”

I was covered with so much prayer that I believe that defied the odds of my survival. Amiee and Patty’s pray brought me out of the coma, no matter what the doctors wanted. I died, was brought back to a medically maintainable state of life and three days later I woke to a story of my death. I did not die for three days like Jesus, but was only “out of it” for those three days. But the power of prayer was the key I believe in my recovery. Everyone else was doing their best, but the odds were heavily stacked against me. I have only learned this more after talking with Dave Yarbrough, the lead paramedic of the team who saved me, told me multiple stories of my scenario that did not work out.

What did I take from this? First I am humbled to have been spared life by God! Why me? Why did I survive and not others who experience what happened? Second, I have modified what I eat, since that is what cause the conditions to have a failure. That modification has changed my metabolism such that I don’t need to train incessantly to keep the weight off. It’s easy to keep at a health weight and my blood numbers look significantly better! Third, I am thankful each and every day. This is no longer a “cliché” but reality since I was so close to the grave. With that I thank everyone who had a hand in my recovery, without the team from station’s 13 and 21, without the team of doctors and staff, without the covering of prayer from everyone I would not have survived. My HEART goes out to each and every one who had a part in saving me.