1 Peter 5:2 –
Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.
This is something that many pastors struggle over throughout their career. Many feel they were meant for a higher calling, not just a small church of 20 or so. Their vision is a mega church that can serve the world with missions and donations. Their message reaches hundreds of thousands because it’s broadcast worldwide. Yet God has them with this small number, in the middle of nowhere. This preacher asks, “How can I serve “willingly” when “I” know there is a higher calling?”
I think we need to look at our “lot” in life and determine if we are serving “willingly” or “grudgingly”? God may have larger plans for this preacher, but he wants to see his heart. If God cannot trust him with 20, how could he ever trust him with thousands? At the same time I think service with expectations is false willingness. Think about the preacher who feels called to the mega church, what if his “willingness” is driven by the idea that just biding his time with these will open the doors more quickly. Would he heart be truly willing or based on expectations?
The ugly heart thing! We can say all we want about how holy our meager life may be, but if we are not “willingly” serving in that capacity, life may never change. I look at this “thought” which when I started I had visions of grandeur. I figured all I needed to do was make a site that said what I was doing and publishers would flock to picking this idea up. My debt which peaked at about $600k would be eliminated by royalty checks rolling in daily. Paid email subscriptions would hit a million in a month or so. That was when I started and that was my expectations. Now I have 1 more chapter to finish and I will have a complete set of “Thoughts” with the entire NLT version of the Bible.
I never got one dollar for royalties or subscription fees, never got what my heart desired. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I took down the “subscription” side of the site and now post every “Thought” on a “Tumblr” site and hope that more than just the few I email get something out of this. Sure I would like my debt to go away still, but I am not expecting it. Through the years of doing this I peaked at $600k debt, and have slowly gotten below $400k in three years of applying God’s financial principles to my finances and not expecting God to be a genie and grant my wishes.
Where am I going with this analogy? Well I was entrusted with a task, which I felt would lead to grandeur and was never settled in my heart with the small list I had until recently. Will this ever go past you guys? God only knows? I just hope and pray I have touched you in a way that’s inspires you to read the Bible cover to cover as many times as you can!! I will start over again after 2nd Peter and continue writing. Thanks for all the comments and inspiration throughout the years.