Song of Songs 6:3 –
I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine. He browses among the lilies
To someone who has not been married this may sound a bit odd, but consider the traditional vows of marriage. Most vows include the words “take you” to “have and to hold” these are not just words of temporary but of ownership. A marriage is something you should never go lightly into and one of the most common misconception is your life continues as “normal.” If you look at this as a contract between one and other for life “ownership” you will settle into the early years.
Notice the dual nature of this “ownership” it’s not just one way. Because of this you must learn compromise quickly. Don’t think “it’s your way or the highway” or your marriage will be doomed. This is where you have to actually start to communicate and ensure your desires are being met as well as ensuring your partner is satisfied as well. So it’s your job to ensure your partners needs are met over your own and hopefully the other will be working the same way!
Now don’t get me wrong this is hard, but not impossible assuming you put pride away quickly. Interestingly after 22 years of marriage we still have “spats” that sometimes escalate into fights, but when the dust settles we are still united and working towards the same goal. Marriage isn’t Eros love all the time, I can honestly say it’s difficult to maintain that day in and day out. But the selfless Agape love is the underlying thread that holds marriages together and keeps the Eros love alive and well. So when stepping into the consideration of marriage, consider long term and not just a chance endless passion. And I can say that after 22 years the passion is alive and well, it doesn’t have to go away!